tallulahfruitbat

I laugh in the face of normal

Pass the life remote

Well, it’s been a while on here.  Not because of anything dramatic but because, simply, life gets in the way of writing. I know, how dare it!  A nice little … Continue reading

February 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

Born Free

My forage into the crazy world of internet dating continued, after my initial depressing disasters, with a yearning for the outdoors and a crazy adventure.  Perhaps it was psychological; being … Continue reading

January 9, 2013 · Leave a comment

Let she who is without sin

Derek leans against his fence, unnervingly looking a little like everyone’s dad and smiles at the camera.  Everydad.  “Yeah,” he says proudly, with a loving look at his wife “The … Continue reading

January 6, 2013 · 2 Comments

Irony or ironing?

As I crept downstairs this morning and saw the madness of a scene that looked like a burglary gone wrong, (they forgot to take the mess that is my house, … Continue reading

January 4, 2013 · 8 Comments

Batty New Year, fruities

Well, it’s been a funny old year and I hope the ending of it and the beginning of 2013 finds you in fine fruity fettle, as I am in the … Continue reading

January 2, 2013 · 4 Comments

Conjugal Catastrophes Part 2

This post could have had so many different titles:  “Why not to squash strawberries on yourself erotically”, “How to knock yourself unconscious during intimate encounters” and so many more.  Yet … Continue reading

December 16, 2012 · 2 Comments

Conjugal Catastrophe part 1

I was lying in bed the other morning, eyes staring frantically at the ceiling, covered in a cold sweat; all because I’d dreamt I was still married.  If you’ve ever … Continue reading

December 14, 2012 · 11 Comments

Change the record miseryguts

I got another text from my ex the other day announcing again (in capitals, of course) that he would be lonely this Christmas.  A bit like Elvis.  Lonely and cold. … Continue reading

December 12, 2012 · 4 Comments

Don’t be a pirate

I was thinking yesterday about pirates.  Yes, at first I was thinking about their swashbuckling ways and floaty shirts with thigh high boots, but then I got to thinking about … Continue reading

December 12, 2012 · 2 Comments

Originally posted on tallulahfruitbat:
 I thought I’d share with you one of the top ten days of my life; I lie completely – it was the funniest, weirdest and most…

December 10, 2012 · Leave a comment